Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
