God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
