yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
