So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
