Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
