You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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