and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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