youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
