im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
