what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
