Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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