Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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