STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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