I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize