i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
