I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
