Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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