So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
