i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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