the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize