so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Floor bacon is actually really good
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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