Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
