sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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