Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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