Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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