Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
These tits shall not be calmed
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