i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
