Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
