get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
