do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
