This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he fucked my hip out of place.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
