you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
