Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
