do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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