she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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