i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
