in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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