Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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