Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
