he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
