I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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