I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize