4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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