my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
