I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Green mimosas i think yes
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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