remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
