Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
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