it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
