D3 body, D1 cock
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
