In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
they call him Oral-B. enough said
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize