doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
how drunk are you?
Several
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
