Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
