so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize