He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
