The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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